


blood on my name, blood on my teeth

by silversky



Series: SPN Song Challenge [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Gen, i don't know where this came from, maybe?? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversky/pseuds/silversky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing to be done, no way to make a deal out of a deal. Her fate was sealed and she had to accept what lingering humanity she had left.</p><p>Except that was all bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blood on my name, blood on my teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Part of [this challenge](http://spnsongchallenge.tumblr.com/%22). Prompt was Blood on My Name by The Brothers Bright.

As the years after the deal passed into oblivion, she got used to the feeling of a pit inside her stomach, lead spreading from belly to chest and out into her limbs, weighing her down even as she flew. It became that she rarely noticed it, the reminder that her life had a deadly timer. Nothing to be done, no way to make a deal to get out of a deal. Her fate was sealed and she had to accept what lingering humanity she had left.

Except that was all bullshit.

Fate and destiny were for people too weak or naive to learn how to control the strings on their own lives. Her life philosophy was based on telling higher powers to fuck off, or more accurately, manipulating them into wanting to fuck off by themselves. Too afraid to try was never going to adorn her headstone. She might be going to Hell either way, but she’d be damned all over again if she was going quietly. Debt or no, her choices were fight back, or lose the person she’d sacrificed everything to become. And that was no choice at all.

Dreams of fire were common, howls joining the frenzy as she learned how damned souls were collected, bite by bite. It was lucky she’d always been a cat person, the sight of dogs now sending shivers down her spine in flashes of gnawing teeth. Not that she showed it of course—she was a professional. Smiling prettily at something you wanted to shoot was just part of the job.

Most people would feel bad about killing their parents, she’d realized one day, but she didn’t. Her only regret was the cost their deaths had meant for her, the trail of their blood leading to her own demise. She wondered briefly if that made her a sociopath, but in truth that thought didn’t bother her. Thief, murderer, sociopath: they were all just labels for who she had to be to reach her goals. Other people’s objections and opinions didn’t merit factoring in.

Options leading to hidden options bringing up nothing, leads turning into desperate gambles to find something, anything. The world that had seemed so small to her as a child, a teenager, even just a year ago, had become huge and unknowable. Hierarchies and long held plans and demon after demon laughing of a fate too terrible for her human mind to comprehend. No way out, no spell or potion or perfect leverage to escape the fear that had become her constant companion. The ticking of her clock grew louder by the day.

The Winchesters were a double edged sword, offering freedom if she could just reach out and grasp it, but always managing to slip away on razor sharp wings. They dared to judge her decisions, like their hearts were so pure, like she didn’t know the atrocities they were capable of when morals battled hearts. They held her future in the palms of their ignorant hands, and she wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever was necessary to take it back. Flannel and whisky were no match for her perseverance.

It was funny, she thought through tears on her last night, how everything came down to deals. Her own deal, the brothers’ deal, her second desperate deal to exchange them for her life, for an extra year, for anything. But when deals came due, no amount of money or silken sheets or charming smiles could keep the devil from knocking. The barking echoing down the hall sounded bizarrely like crackling flame and dripping blood, mixing with the dial tone to create her last earthly memory. After so many years anticipating this moment, she wasn’t sure if she was actually afraid anymore. Even in Hell, there was sure to be someone to fight against. If she had that, then death was really nothing more than a change of location.

Pain. Pain and blood and fear and HATE and so much rage rage rage but she never stopped resisting, fighting battles unknowable to her torturers and fellow tortured alike. She might be dead but that was no end. Turned out there wasn’t much in her to twist into darkness anyway, the original blueprints of her soul already close to the desired bloody end. Why run away into pain when you could run forward, through the cries of the damned to immortality?

Fire filled her stolen veins, bones scorched black by remembered heat, but freedom, glorious freedom, fanned her flames into triumph. Centuries of underestimation made the sun on her skin all the sweeter. Hell thought her a simple creature, beaten into submission and forgetful of her past, but in Hell as on Earth, there was no taming her, no rules or threats capable of keeping her from something she’d set her mind on. Revenge, for all that it was petty, was an ice cold dish she’d dreamed of until she could taste the righteous blood dripping in metallic streams between her teeth.

Bela lifted the black sheen from her eyes, baring a grin. She was finally back—time to get started.

**Author's Note:**

> This was definitely a different style than I'm used to, but I think it turned out pretty well. If you like you can tell me how you think I did either in the comments or at [my tumblr](http://theoncomingcroat.tumblr.com/).


End file.
